Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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