don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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