i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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