My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
