Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm gonna fight the coyote
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
