Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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