So drunk its hurt
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize