Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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