but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
