a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
