I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
