Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize