On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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