that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
