Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Shame - the story of my life.
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