I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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