Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
