I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
two words: eviction party
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
