I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
