Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
