either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
