We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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