OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
