her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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