no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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