What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
