Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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