if you like me you must not know who I am
even my farts smell like vagina
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
