ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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