3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
