Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
