last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
