I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
