Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
