we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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