I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize