I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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