So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
honey bunches of taint.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize