so explain again why im purple
no
she smelled like a LAN party
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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