worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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