I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
