Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The air taste purple.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
