piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
