Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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