drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
