My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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