also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
