Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
