I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
