But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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