i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
