So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
