I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
