Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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