I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
