He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
A+ Viking dick
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
