I think im going to throw up on grandma
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
