quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Everyone says I win the strip club
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
