When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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