He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
