Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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